I PROMISE to sleep before 1am today. Okay lah, originally I wanted to say midnight but its like one and a half hours from now. By the time I'm done with this post there'll be only 45 minutes left(I'm multi-tasking lah!). I'm actually getting this down in black and white because last night, I was so darned engrossed in a book that I lost track of time. Suddenly I realised it was 3am and I wasn't even sleepy. But of course I forced myself to sleep lah. I promised my immune system that I wouldn't pull all-nighters after Pee Amm Arr.
You probably didn't notice this (or maybe you did?) but I deleted my last post. I was incredibly angry when I wrote it and I still am. People say that when one is angry, the mind is out of control. You do things, say things you do not mean. I beg to differ. Let me prove my point in an analogy.
There are obviously two sides. The first person is...
And her BFF...
How the two met remains a mystery.
Anyway, before the release of Transformers 2, cinema operators faced a very serious problem. How on earth were they supposed to control the excessive amount of both men and women panting and moaning (and probably jacking off) in the cinema whenever Megan Fox came on screen? This simply would not do. They could not bear to face the angry parents of underage kids who would be exposed to all this sexual tension. And they needed the money of these underaged kids very much indeed. Hence, they approached a man who was very experienced in these methods. A man, who after announcing to the press of his affair, still managed to hold onto his extremely smart wife. Bill Clinton, of course. Bill pondered for a few days and came up with his most brilliant idea ever. Get Megan Fox to pose in lingerie for a magazine(that way even underaged boys could grab them) and her legions of fans can ogle at the pictures instead.
Megan, being Megan, complied. And the world was treated to a fabulous picture:
One look at the picture and Homer, drugged by the sugar in doughnuts, thought that if Megan can do it, he can do it. And thus, the world rejoiced with the most amazing photoshoot of Homer Simpson hiterto,
Megan took one look at the photo and raged to Homer's place.
Megan - How dare you Homer! How could you try to steal my thunder? Well at least you look terrible. All those doughnuts certainly went straight to your belly!
Homer - Doughnuts? Doughnuts! Come to daddy, doughnuts!
Megan - Oh, you stupid fool.
Homer - STUPID? I ain't stupid! Or am I? Anyway, how could you call me stupid, you lousy bitch. You can't even act. If it wasn't for Megatron and Opti-whatever Prime, Transformers would be the worst movie in the history of mankind!
Megan - AS IF! You idiot, who thinks only of food. All these years you thought your wife Marge's hair was BLACK!
Homer - Isn't it black? IT IS! HAH! WHO'S THE IDIOT NOW? You see, at least I don't have to lick my lips and undress myself to get fans. I steal, I swear, I use my middle finger and people still love me.
Here, Megan storms out. But a few days later, they both apologised and claimed they did not mean what they said. Homer goes back to doughnuts and tv while Megan goes and stares at herself in the mirror.
So, as you can see, what they said when they fought was true! Homer is stupid and Megan is a terrible actress. But they would not say these things when everything is nice and calm because then they love each other. And they would be able to resist the urge to scream the truth. But when you're angry, you don't love the opposite side anymore and you don't care. You hurl insults and curses and shout the bloody truth because you don't care if it hurts the opposite side.
Thankfully for the case of Homer and Megan though, they both have dementia and forget everything easily. Unfortunately however, the rest of the world has brains. So lets have a moment of silence for all the time we shall spend pondering of everything said of us in the heat of anger. May our souls one day rest in peace. *commence sobbing* *sniff*
If you did not understand a single word of that, welcome to Homer Simpson's world. Now go eat some doughnuts.
